Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Ex's=Friends & Really in church....
So, let me just start off by saying that I have the pleasure of being a member of one of the best church's in Atlanta...Yes I said it...lol...Tabernacle Baptist Church....If you are in the A and need a place to worship...Come come....No matter who you are TBC welcomes you...I had to put that out there, but that isn't what this post is about.....TBC hosts a Relationship Series on Wednesdays...Its an open forum and Q&A with Pastor Meredith..It is a time for you to come, discuss issues, share your frustrations, get advice and counseling, there have been Psychologist sit in and give feedback, it is a really great Forum....Well, tonight's topic was left over from last week, because some people had some things still on their hearts...The first young lady, goes up seemingly very upset over a comment that was made, but it was explained and she was happy and satisfied and she sat down. Well the next young lady had a question in reference to Ex's becoming friends and those new friendships interfering in your current relationship....Things got pretty heated pretty quickly...and I hate because this series is normally broadcast live, however U-Stream seemed to want to pick a juicy night like tonight to act a donkey....I would normally point you where to read it, however, not the case tonight. So, there were arguments from all, some said it's possible to be friends, some felt other wise...I found it so funny that this was the topic, because on my way to church...I had an interesting conversation with my Ex who has said that I need to run all of my future mates by her so she can give me the thumbs up or down....lol...If she wasn't serious it would almost be comical...So, I guess my questions is--Do you think you can retain a friendship with an ex if you are in a new relationship?
Wait, I'm not done...this is a two part one..lol...
Ok, so as I said this forum is held at my church however it is in the Kitchen/activity space and not actually in the sancturary, so most people are coming straight from work, or home or from wherever, so some are dressed others are very relaxed, I mean honestly it's a very casual laid back night...Well one of the young ladies that got up to speak at the mic had on some shorts that were the same size as a pair of boy cut underwear with a shirt if I can call it that, because it is really some underwear because I've seen them at Fredericks, lace no back built in bra sits about 2 inches above the waist...so its very very revealing...and yes I know I said it is a very laid back night, however, when she left the house, I am sure she knew she was coming to the Relationship Forum at church, because she's there every week. I wonder did she look at that outfit and say I'm going to be cute in this tonight...As always, there is a time and place for everything, certain fashion statements should not be made in the church, no matter your size or how cute you think you look..I know she was uncomfortable because the entire time that she was talking, she was pulling up her shirt and adjusting her purse to cover her legs....So, that let me know...SHE KNEW THAT OUTFIT WAS TOOOOOOO MUCH...OR RATHER TOOOOOOOO LESS, HOWEVER YOU CHOOSE TO LOOK AT IT...FATHER BLESS US...
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Riccia Psirenik Davis I would have to say that it depends on how much TRUST is in the current relationship. If your current partner trust you, is secure and confident in himself or herself there should not be much of a problem. BUT there also must be a clear understanding between the ex's. The ex must have the upmost respect for your current relationship, have clear boundaries and not step over those boundaries. It is also important not to be extremely secretive when it comes to your ex since in fact yall are ex's. For example: Walking away every time you get a phone call from the ex...HELL NO I wouldn't have that....especially if a pattern is being revealed. Late night texts and phone calls. Yes I do understand that friends should be able to do things like that BUT when it comes to an ex and trying to be friends things are definitely different and you must respect your relationship FIRST. Show your curent that your relationship comes before you and the ex's relationship in all reality IT SHOULD so there won't be any confusion. Granted it is extremely hard to still be friends with an ex while being in a relationship because 9x out of 10 there are still a little feelings being harbored and sometimes having those feels and still keeping contact could cause those (old) feelings to become stronger....start REMINISCING AND BAM they become even stronger THEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. It is important to wait if there are still feelings (past relationship) for that person. The bottom line there must be open communication between you and your current regarding the ex, and you must be careful and mindful of your currents feelings!!! Ha ha i'm done now.
ReplyDeleteAbout the woman and the outfit....no ma'am regardless you must have respect for yourself and your church to make sure you're appropriate. Bible study, and church outings outside of church.....you are how to represent yourself so it is important to display yourself appropriately. IN CHURCH!!!! REALLY....LORD BE WITH US...SEARCH OUR HEARTS AND HELP US WITH OUR ACTIONS AND CHOICES!!! IN CHURCH!!! She should be ashamed!!!
So True in all you said Psis...So very true...
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